To get the new site and the New Year (incidently: Happy New Year Everyone!) off to a flying start I thought I might take this opportunity to repost choice snippets of some of the earlier posts as well as some of the more useful pieces, as all these were taken down with the old site design. This also saves me having to think of new and scintillating pieces so early in the year when brain function has been reduced by the festive binge.
Here's a piece on photography from June 2014:
Today we shall be discussing Bumphrey’s now immutable “3rd Law of Camera Lens Size” (CLS).
During detailed observations carried out by our highly trained team of observers it has been noted, first in relatively crude form and later in a much more refined and proven version that, of the visitors to our scientifically designed test chamber, those carrying large camera lenses seem pathologically disinclined to look at pictures in galleries. Put simply; the bigger the lens, the less time spent in looking at other people’s work. It could be hypothesised that the carrying of the enormous lens is of and in itself a sign of inadequacy and that the challenge of a display of photographic images will prove too much for the holder of the camera, possibly resulting in the shameful urge to ask the “What equipment did you take that with?” question (an admission of defeat). With either of the the two possible answers a level of shame is in involved. For instance, If the artist replies:
“Ah, I used a Cojontax 10538f on 1.9 with a zero White Point and Multikrom 9.97 with MacroDIc 2.45 and Strap Converter”.
Then shame of of inadequate equipment will be the result
Otherwise if the reply is:
“Oh just this little pocket camera”
then complete collapse of artistic ability remorselessly follows.
If you suspect that you are suffering from it, the best cure for Fotopest syndrome is to potter about with a sensible sized camera and quickly look through the viewfinder, compose a reasonable picture and enjoy your visit to the town and it’s facilities (including our gallery). You will find that you now have time to talk to your wife (or husband - disturbingly this is not an exclusively male disease), enjoy the many fine prospects, and maybe even save some money. You do not need to carry a lens the size of a dustbin in order to take nice photos of a pleasant townscape unless you are hoping to capture pics of someone changing their top in the flat blocks two kilometres away